Characters:
- Laura
- Brittany
- Brittany's Dad/ Bryan
- Jared (he doesn't come in until day 5)
DAY ONE:
We went to pick up this airstream trailer to take back with us to LA. For those unfamiliar with airstreams here is what one looks like:
Does it look old? It should, since it is. Annnnd it was a mini one so it had no breaks. We didn't care we were in a big Dodge truck which we had to maneuver through the stacks of crates and pallets all over the Salt Palace with really angry and rude people yelling at us in a very unprofessional manner and making our experience quite unenjoyable. If they had a place to leave comment cards mine would not be very positive. After the Salt Palace escapade we were on the road to Mesquite and everything was looking fine and dandy, until I almost passed out and had to stop at a gas station and say hello, and goodbye, to my Hot Dog on a Stick (Really someone should tell them that they are called Corn Dogs). After driving for what seemed like a year we reached Mesquite and stayed in our hotel room which had great air conditioning. It was lovely after a day of driving in the hot sun.
DAY TWO:
Wake up and no one can move. The air conditioning is so cold all of our muscles have frozen and we are about to enter into shock. The room was frigid and if the blinds were open we probably would have seen our breath. I can see it now: "People die in Nevada hotel room from hypothermia". That is a whole bunch of irony. After properly thawing we started driving again and stopped at this awesome roller coaster that Brittany had been dreaming to ride at the Buffalo Bill Casino called the Desperado.
We got there at 11:30 and the sign said it didn't open until 12:15 so we went and wandered around some outlet malls and came back at 12:30 where we discovered the ride was not open and would not open for a long time since they were doing "maintenance" work on it. Some people were not very happy. At the time we did not realize the stupid roller coaster would be the least of our problems for the day.
Once we hit LA and the traffic was of course horrendous we noticed funny things happening with our brakes. The brake pads on the left front tire were non-exsistant, unbenounced to us. So we were driving along on the 405 and tried to stop but could only stop halfway and the airstream had no brakes, so we hit the truck in front of us. Luckily no one was injured and there was just a little dent, nothing serious. We then continued to drop off the wretched airstream at the owner's house. The dude lived on a tiny street with cars parked on both sides. How we got it back in one piece and without a lost life I have no idea. Truly it was a miracle.
After getting rid of the airstream we went down to Venice Beach where Brittany made friends with this artist who does really cool pieces with spray paint. His name is Tony B. Conscious. Look him up, he is legit. We ate dinner and returned to the car to find ourselves with a bonafide parking ticket. I knew when we parked where we did that there was a 97% chance we were going to get a ticket, a 2% chance we were going to get towed, and a 1% chance nothing would happen. Well the odds won out.
After cursing the parking meter and all of the nonsense of the day we ventured out to find a motel 6, which took forever since the first 4 were full and we ended up staying in a smoking room, which made us smell like roses the next day. Now you may be asking, "Why motel 6? There are at least a trillion other hotels in the area?", but that brings us to another problem. A few days before the trip Brittany's Dad's credit card number was stolen and used so we are running on a COMPLETELY cash basis and motel 6 is the only cash friendly hotel... which really says something about it if you know what I'm sayin.
DAY THREE:
So we woke up just fine with feeling in all of our body parts, so that counts as a small victory. Obviously the brakes needed to be dealt with so we fixed those ourselves in front of the Pep Boys store in the short time period of 2 hours. After all that fun we decided to have a beach day. So we drove down to the Santa Monica pier and literally parked 5 blocks from it, since we had picked up a 5th wheel (to take with us back to Vegas) and you can only park of one side of the road on Thursday and the other side on Friday. Seriously it was like the street was divorced and had to equally spend time with both parents. So after parking a mile and a half away from the pier on the Thursday allowed side of the street we started the long voyage to actual habitation.
At the pier we made the mistake of stopping in front of this mess of instruments and a guy in a cowboy hat. It turned out to be the Japanese guy from America's Got Talent who plays 15 instruments at once and felt the need to sing Brittany and me a song since we saw him on AGT (I didn't have the heart to tell him we know the people who almost won the whole thing. He probably would have sang us two and I don't think I could handle that). It was a completely random song that no one (the people who actually stayed and listened rather than run the other way) could understand. It was full of "Wait Brittany!" and "Come back Lorah!!!" How embarrassing... Brittany's Dad walked away when he found out we were being sang to, what a smart cookie.
After the pier we headed down to beautiful Venice Beach.
We went swimming in the ocean which would sound really fun, and it was, but Brittany kept trying to kill me. We went body surfing/ wave jumping/ acting like weridos, which was fun! But every wave, and I don't know how, she would end up on top of me and I would be rubbing against the bottom of the ocean floor trying to get her off of me so I could breathe. Magically I ended up on top once and I was so excited. It really was a miracle people, you just don't understand. The worst thing was she thought it was funny. Har.... har...
DAY FOUR:
We woke up bright and early and decided to go to Six Flags! Roller coasters and super heros and looney toons, oh MYYY!!! We got there and couldn't park the 5th-wheel so Brittany's dad could not come with, but he doesn't like roller coasters so no loss for him. We looked around for an easy first ride and accidentally ended up in line for Tatsu, which was apparently the most popular one there and consequently had the longest line that lasted an hour and 45 minutes (You KNOW it's bad when they have TVs for you to watch while you wait in line....). The line would have gone faster if it wasn't for the stupid fast pass people who automatically got to go to the front of the line and sit in the good seats. They were the bane of our existence the whole dang day.
So after our epic wait we went to Deja Vu which was a super duper cool ride (probably my fav) and it was going to be our turn after 3 people and then they had to temporarily close the ride since someone's shoe got stuck in it. Now this may seem like a bad thing, but there was a very cute boy right by us (you had to know that a boy would show up somewhere in this very, very long post. Here he is. Enjoy it while it lasts). We had a nice little convo with said boy while we waited for the ride to be fixed and apparently he had said something to this girl on the other side of us whose turn it was to ride the coaster now that it was working again. Now this chick is one of a kind. They surely do not make people like her. She had on caked on make-up and this 80's workout gear shirt. She was close to our age and if cheesy smiling was an Olympic sport she would get a gold medal. After seriously everything she did she looked at this cute guy and keeps giving him the eye and when she sits down on the ride she gives him this big smile and says "byyyyyyyeee" in this weird voice with a creepy expression....It must have been pretty embarrassing when the ride didn't move... which probably justified her awkward giggles while she waited for it to really leave. She seriously said bye like 9 times and when the ride left Brittany and I burst out laughing, we honestly could not help it. So the cute kid gets on the ride and I just can't help myself.... I look at him and say... "byyyyyyyeee". He of course started laughing and when I got on the ride the people behind me looked at me and said "byyyyyyyeee" too. I really wanted to see someone from the ride again that day and say "byyyyyyyeee" to them, but sadly we didn't.
(a little pictorial relief)
I will have to blog about the obnoxious people we were surrounded by during the wait for Goliath because they could be a whole ENTIRE post by themselves. So now you have something to look forward to.
We started six flags at 11 in the morning and stayed until 9 at night, when it closed. We rode 7 rides. How sad. I hope no one ever complains about Lagoon lines again. Ever. Seriously I WILL beat you with a stick.
DAY FIVE:
( I'm tired and this day is really long so I am going to be brief and direct. No sugar)
We wake up ready to go to Vegas. We get going to Vegas with the stupid 5th-wheeler. All of the sudden something else breaks down on the truck. Tranny, clutch, dooleebobber, who knows. So we stop in Barstow, which is podunk and right on the border of Nevada and CA. By now Brittany's dad's iphone is completely broken and he is acting like he has lost a limb or something and is moping like a sad puppy, so I'm the only one with a working smart phone. The truck can't be fixed until Monday so we are out of luck, but we figure something out. Brittany's Dad's Boss (ENTER JARED!!!!) said he would come pick us and the stupid 5th-wheeler up and take us to Vegas, but he is an hour and a half away and the car repair place is closing in 10 minutes so we decide to walk somewhere for lunch while we wait it out. We start walking (me in my black shirt and Brittany in her black shoes) in the 101 degree heat in the middle of the desert up a hill a mile and a half to a restaurant called Coco's, when we could have taken two steps the other way and been to a chicken place. We enter Coco's (which is like a glorified Denny's or Perkin's for you Iderhoans) and literally ask for pitchers of water. After putting up with the unsatisfying fettucini alfredo and lack of boysenberry pie (all Brittany's problems, not mine) Jared shows up and we pile into his truck and get to Vegas and drop off the trailer. After ridding ourselves of the stupid thing we found a hotel room at the Cannery (exhibit A):
I'm not even going to start in on the name because it was over shadowed by the hand sanitizer dispenser in the bathroom that unhappily gave out lotion instead. The said lotion made us smell like old ladies, which I loudly announced to a casino full of ciggie smoking, slot machine playin' old ladies. We then tried to rent a car so Jared doesn't have to play taxi driver, but we can't rent a car without a credit card and we can't use mine. 5 different companies, a conversation with Hotwire, a refund, a hopeful moment, a few arguments, and many unhappy words later we were still left with no car so Jared dropped us off at the outlet malls and promised to take Brittany and I to the shuttle the next day.
We then proceeded to shop until we dropped and went to Fremont Street where we witnessed some cool things and some weird things and some scary things.
DAY SIX:
We woke up and got all packed. That was a trip. It was like trying to fit an elephant into a tin can. But some how it worked. Jared had picked up a boat the night before to take to LA, which caused quite a curfuffle at the airport. We were literally 5 feet away from the shuttle Brittany and I needed to get onto and some mean guy in a fluorescent shirt and a chunky helmet on a bike came up and told us to "roll out" even though we had clearly followed the signs and it was the only place we could fit with the stinkin boat. So we "rolled out" and ended up getting stuck with no way out because we were too tall to go anywhere, but luckily a nice taxi driver helped us out and told us a secret way to get out. We were practically pushed out of Jared's truck and had to book it to make it to our shuttle which would take us to St. George where my parental unit would fetch us and take us back to the Salty Lake. That went fine and we made it to the family party.
THE FREAKING END
I'm quite sick of telling our unfortunate story over and over again so it has lost about 78% of it's pizazz. Ask me about parts that you wish to be embellished, but I can't promise I'll be nice about it. So now I'm back in Utah and back to being a redhead and have my schedule for next year and am going to Idaho tomorrow for ortho stuff. Wahoozizzzle.
P.S. I got some awesome stuff in CA, some of which is quite hilarious. It is worthing blogging about later.
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